Thirsty Mondays...

The Lord keeps taking me  back to Psalm 63.  I say "back" because the first time I read this Psalm the words jumped off the page and into my heart.  It was a long time ago - I was in my early thirties and I was dead on the inside.  Like a log that had been burned to charcoal...unfeeling, unresponsive, unable... I had no idea "what" was wrong with me - I knew "something" was -  I DID know what circumstances had contributed to the "what" that was wrong - but I could not define the "what" -   and true to my personal wiring - I did not care "what" was wrong - I only cared about "how" to fix "it." ( The "it" would be ME...).  Getting from one place to the other via the shortest route is always MY goal...


As I find often with God, short distances are not necessarily His goal.  Accurate footsteps are.

"O God, You are my God" - the starting place is always God - recognizing WHO He is - submitting to His authority and believing what He has spoken to be true - about Himself - about me. Not my husband, nor my children, nor my friends can help me and change me the way God and His Word will.
..."earnestly will I seek You..." that's what I SHOULD be doing, apparently...
"...my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee..."  Uh-oh, those words - thirsteth, longeth - words of desperation and want - personal words - they resonated deep within my heart.  I began to see "what" was wrong...deep needs - abysmal loss...how scary!
"...in a dry and thirsty land where no water is..."  Oh the agony!  The uncoverdness! The barrenness of my own soul! The truth was I had no resources within my own self...(still true today...) What was I going to do? What would be the end of me? And more succinctly, "HOW" and "WHY" did these words so accurately describe ME?  Where was my hope...?


In the next couple verses, of course...
"... to see THY POWER and THY GLORY...(in the sanctuary)..."
"...because your lovingkindness is better than life..."


Oh, Lord it is YOUR power, YOUR glory - that has what it takes to "fix" ME.  It is because YOU are so loving and YOU are so kind - that YOU will do this work in me. 


And in the end, "...my lips shall praise YOU!!!"  WHAT?  There was hope?  Hope, that someday I would be able to PRAISE God?  Without a sense of failure attached to it?  Without fear of rejection?  Without SHAME? 


Ah, yes...and more............


Our God knows. Our God works.  Our God is great in power and glory.  Our God has each one of us at the center of His heart. 


He will not give up.  He has given us His Word...


Earnestly, let your thirsty soul seek him - look beyond the desert of your own ability and to the POWER and GLORY of YOUR GOD...


Love In Christ,


Patti