3 Lies Women Believe About Marriage

Does your perspective of marriage align with God's plan? 

As I was working on a project over the weekend, I pondered the misconceptions I once had about marriage and how they lead to the unraveling of relationship. I realized these were misunderstandings that many women believe.

Lie # 1:

Many Christian couples believe that being 'saved' automatically guarantees marital success. They think that if God brought them together, they love each other, and they serve God, they will have a happy marriage, true relational fulfillment, and few problems. All they need is God and each other!

The truth: We are all sinners, and while we may be saved by grace, we also have wounds (past and present) that will tear us apart if they are not healed. The more baggage we carry, the more complicated marriage tends to be - and we all have baggage. We must gain a proper understanding of our mate, learn positive ways of relating with each other, and deal with our brokenness.  

Lie # 2:

The picture of marriage typically portrayed in the local church is that men and women complete each other. When they marry and become one flesh, they make a proper image of who God is. The institution of marriage is meant to bring two incomplete people together as a whole, thereby creating happiness and harmony. The partners provide fulfillment to each other.  

The truth: Our spouse was never meant to complete us - that is God's responsibility. We cannot be whole until we reach Heaven.  While together couples do bear a more complete picture of who God is, His purpose was for men and women to complement each other. We are meant to partner together because we need each others' help. Marriage is not about our personal comfort or happiness; it's about fulfilling God's plan and growing in holiness.

Lie # 3:

Many couples believe they need to keep their marital problems to themselves when they struggle. Christians are called to be a light to the world, and they can't be a good example if people know what's really happening at home. They're afraid others will look down on them. Those involved in ministry often feel if they share their struggles and flaws, they will no longer be fit for leadership.

The truth: As Christians, we must be real with others, leading them with our transparency and showing them God's hand actively working in our own lives. Nowhere in Scripture does God tell us to hide our flaws. Few people will respect 'plastic' leaders; broken people are inspired by other broken people who overcame their struggles. 

God showed me where I was wrong in my perspective, and how that contributed to the downfall of my relationship with my husband. Fortunately, by His grace I've been transformed by the renewing of my mind. 

May any misconceptions you have about marriage be replaced by God's truth. 

Blessings, Jen