It seems so vast. Too immense. Nearly Impossible.
This mission God has called me to.
He gave me a job to do while I'm here on earth. Several, in fact. And I want to obey, because I love Him so much. I want to nail it, and make Him proud.
Yet, I wonder, how can little ole me pull off something grand for the Kingdom?
It's scary, when I think about what it will take to follow Him.
I shudder as tears sting the back of my eyes. I am so small, so simple, so... unimportant. I have so few resources, so little influence. Why would He call me to do something so big?
Questions rush at me from all sides, and I cringe beneath the stinging darts of doubt. Did I hear His voice correctly? Will people even listen to me when I speak? Will they come as I beckon them closer to the throne, closer to Him?
What if no one likes me, believes in me, supports my efforts? I'm not glamorous, or eloquent, or wealthy. I don't have much education. I'm not related a great leader or pastor. I didn't have the best upbringing. I have weaknesses, bad habits, insecurities. There are so many other amazing women out there - why would God call me?
And if I was brave enough to move forward, how can I come alongside other women who also have a call from Him? How do I foster unity rather than compete for space?
His reassuring whisper settles into my soul. He reminds me to not be afraid, because in my weakness He is strong. He is my Rock, my Guide, my Savior.
But still, I am afraid.
Do I really have what it takes? Can I be brave? What if I try, and then fail?
I feel His gentle caress, asking me to cast my cares and simply trust Him. I sink into Him, knowing that He's got this. He's...got...this.
I am merely a vessel. All He needs is for me to be willing, to fully surrender, to simply put one foot in front of the other down the path of His calling.
I don't have to have it all figured out. I just have to obey.
It's like a holy breath softly falls on me. Chills sprinkle over my skin, and I feel a little stronger. I know everything is going to work out. Because I am a daughter of the incredible King of Kings! Greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world! I can be courageous, like Esther, like Ruth, like Mary.
The truth is, I don't have what it takes. But God does, and He gives me what I need at just the right time. He believes in me, and it's a privilege to follow Him.
That's what faith is all about.
Because of Him, I...am...brave.
Blessings, Jen
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